I make things so hard on myself, and I HATE it. With such a passion. I limit myself and then obsess over surpassing those ridiculously unreasonable limitations. I’m so scared, for myself. Honestly. How did it come to be this hard. So many questions for myself but not one answer. I just want to feel present and invincible and be able to enjoy things without those nagging thoughts in the back of my head that one small change to my plans or routine will somehow negatively alter my being with no room to fix my mistakes. Why am I like this? Who am I trying to please at this point and will I ever be satisfied